Distress Purchasing

I had my infrequent clothes-buying down to a fine art in Portadown.  I would enter McMahon’s bright new shop [bomb damaged and reconstructed twice, since you ask].  John the owner would be standing inside the door with a suit ready for me.  It would fit perfectly.  I would hand him my Visa and leave.  Neither Marks nor Spencer was waiting for me at the Gyle Centre this morning – or they were busy looking after the whole of Scotland which seemed to have descended on the place at the same time.  But at least you can bring stuff home and bring it back again.